These are the things that I see when I am sleeping
Voice and points afloat in the infinity sea
Hear it saying to me “Dream! Oh thou young dreamer…
…shed thine naked shallow spirit inside, within”
Lids up feet down, I see aura in the abyss
Pitch dark deep waters yet breathe of mind is around
The voice once again says “Dream! Oh, thou young dreamer!”
My mind’s mouth opens up delivers new born things
Words, Sounds, Visions, Aura and Life is all I see
The beauty and wonders makes the throat go gasping
I force my eyes to open up but now I see:
These are the things that I see in reality
Some people don’t really know who I am
Yes, they might have seen my past and present
But it’s only what’s on my pedestal
Only rare know what’s behind my curtain
They ask themselves and make a conclusion
That they know me better than I know mine
Sugar-coat stories and poisonous kicks
Here’s what I have to say to them all:
There are some people who are real
There are some people who are good
But there are people who are fake
Worst there are people who are good at being fake
I never really understand the meaning of college. Seriously, why do I really have to get into this place when my dream does not require college? My teachers, parents, older relatives and friends tell me to go to college to get a better life. But to be honest, I’m already having the best day of my life.
For starters, I’m young. I have enough mitochondria and ATP to replenish my body and be active. Also, I like being active so being a slacker is not really a good thing to me. I also have a job that can buy me anything I want if I try to save up. After all, I’m very frugal when it comes to money.
I come from a very wealthy family. My mom and dad already have prepared my inheritance in any case something wrong might happen to them. In fact, my father already told me how to run the company and I could really make a good owner of the business.
I’m in a band too. To be honest, I can be a one man band since I’ve learn almost common instruments known in the music industry. Literature is my passion and writing is my hobby especially when we’re talking about songs.
I’ve heard about this guy in England that proposes that education destroys the creativity of young people and I agree with him. In my high school life, my parents never take interest in my creativity, same as my school. They don’t want music on hallways and for me that’s just bull.
I have a lot of things backed-up for the future and college don’t count on it since it doesn’t really need it. After all, when I go to college, it would be just like high school all over again. Like seriously, I don’t understand why you pay these teachers. The student will sit in the classroom and the teacher will just summarize one chapter since he/she thinks that the students already studies one chapter. Honestly, the students really don’t give a shit about this. Party all night is the main thing and in the end, they regret things and lose their money and say bye to happy future.
But here’s my reality
I’m a 39 year old who sticks with his college words. I have Bronchitis inherited from my father who died when I was young. My mother took over the business and married again. My step-father told me that I should go to college whether I like it or not. I was young that time so I just ran away will all the inheritance I can get expect the business since my step-father is now running it and it’s doing well actually.
I stayed in my band mate’s place for almost 5 years thinking that if we stayed in one place, we could be productive in writing songs and we feel that we’re almost in the edge of being famous. However my band mates have some priorities and they have to go to college which I never did. They said that being in a band is really cool but there are some things to focus first and the band will be their minority. When they started going to college, I was the only one left in the band since all of them were really busy with thesis and homework and midterms. I try to tell them “That’s what you get from going to college” and they said “Well, it worth it”. With all of them being nerdy and geeky, I moved out in a new apartment.
But those times in the apartment didn’t make any change, it made things even worst. I took an apartment but I didn’t have enough money to pay it. For the 5 years I stayed in my band mate’s place, I almost spent half of my inheritance with things that I don’t even remember because I was drunk. Then when I rented the apartment, I didn’t realize that I’ve almost ran out of money by just paying the bills and the rent. I decided to go back to my band mate’s place again but he already rented out the place for his fellow college students.
I tearfully went back home and pulled myself together for five minutes. I have my stuff with me and everything. I looked to the window and saw that there’s nobody in the house now. It was empty and abandoned. Then I remembered that I had a fight with my mom on the phone one drunken night. She asked me if I would come back home and try to college so I can do them a favour and also get my life straight by having a profession I can be secured. I was so drunk that time that I just shouted at my mom to the fact that I don’t want to go to college. I heard her voice and I can feel that she’s crying but I didn’t give a damn that moment. In other words, I ended up walking away from my old home feeling bad.
So I’m 39 year old who stick with his college words. Here in the streets hoping that I could change time and just listened to the words of my elders. Until now, I never really understand the meaning of college.
It’s been 2 months since my daughter was traumatized. I never believe that it was her fate to be in a tragic bondage, but was the devil that ate her heart and innocence. Every dreams, hopes and excellence is nothing now. Yet I prayed to the Almighty that He’ll take it all away – the skeletons on her closet. Her every move is a vision and for me is a mission. The grunge against the highest is still bleeding in the bottom of my heart.
The night came when the Mayor and the Counsellor went to our house. “We apologize for my son’s act of raping your daughter. We ask you if you could just drop the lawsuit so everybody will live peacefully,” they said. I am not ignorant to just follow what they said because of their status. I believe each and everyone in the world has the right to stand up for what they have. Right now, I have my daughter and the justice that she needs. In reality, the scale between the rich and the poor is imbalanced. It will only take risks if the poor wants to be heard. Yet, I believe everything we’ll be fine as long as our dignity is inside us. There’s no need for us to fight with guns and knives.
My son, who is a rebel against the system, wants me to drop the lawsuit. After what happened to my husband, his perspective changed a lot. Justice for him is just a myth that only the rich can taste. An eye for an eye is his only way to make things fair. As a teacher, I don’t get paid enough; and now that I left my job to take care of my traumatized daughter, everything is tight. Yet I am thankful for all the help of my son, my sister and her son. I feel blessed to have them; they make me feel better when the storms of our lives come. However, the storm finally came and we’re in the middle of the flood.
My daughter usually needs tranquilizers to keep her calm. That night, I sent my son to buy tranquilizers because we just ran out. Then my nephew confessed that his cousin is carrying a gun because of the grunge against the Mayor’s son. My heart starts to beat so fast. I’m so worried that the highest might take my son away from me. Since the tragedy, my daughter has been having these nightmares about her brother and I. Recently; she had a dream that her brother was tortured by the highest. It scares me to think that it’s already morning when my daughter starts telling the horrors of her dreams.
And then, the door starts making loud noises. It was my son, without the tranquilizer that I want him to buy. Instead, he has the gun and blood all over. A taxi was outside the house with my nephew inside it. It was a moment of panic and horrors. The highest are chasing my son for he had made an act that made him like them. An eye for an eye is what he said; a life for a life was repaid. Justice is now done, but for my daughter only. The mayor’s son is now dead and we should call it a fair. However, the highest just doesn’t want to taste justice; they want to eat, swallow and excrete it.
Something needs to be done; I never wanted my son to face the fate of being a killer of the system. I, however, am used in abuse, unfairness, discrimination and pain. I am here; take me instead of my son. But it’s useless. Even though we’ve gain justice, I still have to be one of them to set my son free. I see the gun, I see my son, and then nothing but blackness. In the nothingness, I moved automatically. Then my eyes we’re clear once again. It’s not black anymore – but red. The highest had arrived; I am now one of them – a sinner. Take me for my son is now innocent; take me now where I truly belong. In a place where the sinners are locked, because of standing up for what’s right. In a world full of sin and an eye for an eye.
This is my new blog and I hope that I can let myself be imaginary in this blog. So for all of you to know, I love to read, write and speak. These 3 attributes are my way to express myself in different seasons, weather, time and era.
The bottom line is, this blog is for my short stories, poems (or favorite poems), novels, songs/lyrics (even a demo song), and slams.
Here are the projects I’m about to submit (I hope I manage to write them all in English translation):
Sa pula, sa puti (To the Red, To the White)
Sa dapit hapon (The dusk)
So yeah, more things to come alive soon and yet.